A Tide in the Affairs of Men

What are you currently doing in life and why?

What I wanted to do in life turned out to be not at all what I thought and I turned out to be a bit of a failure.  I worked very hard at failing to achieve my dream and wasted some good years in the process- most of my twenties.  Incidentally, I have recently experienced success that exceeds my efforts in a field which was never my deliberate intention.

I just sort of ended up getting pretty far in a different field by doing my job, going to school, and taking the amazingly good opportunities that fell in my lap at each step of the way.

Someone asked me yesterday if the job I am getting ready to start was my “dream job”. I answered, honestly: “I don’t have any dreams- but this is a good job and I look forward to it.”

There is a funny thing about the nature of success and failure: I don’t feel that I can attribute my success to my own efforts. Equally, I don’t feel fully to blame for my failures. Rather, everything just kind of “happened”.

A certain quote comes to mind for me regarding the nature of our lives (I can’t believe I am willingly quoting Shakespeare, gag, my high school English teacher would be so proud though):
“There is a tide in the affairs of men.
Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune;
Omitted, all the voyage of their life
Is bound in shallows and in miseries.
On such a full sea are we now afloat,
And we must take the current when it serves,
Or lose our ventures.”
Julius Caesar Act 4, scene 3, 218–224

My life seems as if I am being pulled along into treating cancer. I stumbled into healthcare, happened upon Oncology, and, despite my best efforts to expand into other specialties, continue to be pulled back. (I would not suggest using this line in a job interview, but it is the truth!) Caring for people with cancer is highly rewarding and meaningful, but takes its toll on you. If you have ever worked health care, you will relate that there are easier ways a person can make a living.

So, the question I have for you is this: what is the force that drives the tides of our lives? Is it our own free will? This has not been my experience. Is it the product of blind, impersonal, random force? Or, is it the guiding hand of God? My current hypothesis is that the tides of our lives are the outcome of divine intervention.

Consider Proverbs 20:24 :

“A person’s steps are directed by the Lord.
How then can anyone understand their own way?”

I understand not how I got here nor where I am going. I am going to go with it and go for it, confident that there is a rationale which has not yet been revealed to me. I realize the providence of God is easier to accept in times of victory than it is in times of disappointment, but I am currently convinced that it is the providence of God that directs the course of our lives.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not one of those people who seeks God’s direction when choosing what type of toilet paper to buy. I also don’t read spirituality into every mundane aspect of our seemingly largely pointless lives (no offense to you if you do, I don’t pretend to have all the answers). I also recognize the power of the human spirit and I believe in free will. But, the fact is, I cannot deny the presence of the tide in life which propels us forward.

So, how about you? Is life going according to plan, or has it been redirected (for better or worse)? What do you believe is the driver of the tides in your life? Suggest an alternative hypothesis…